Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Issue Two

Welcome back, internet enthusiasts! I'm Tegan Pants, back in action and ready to tell you a thing or two about life, love and comics.
Since school is back in session, this week, I'll be reviewing a series of books featuring Mommy's favorite gifted youngsters, the X-Men.

I was shocked and dismayed that Mommy expected me to read four books this week. There was much kicking and screaming, but uncharacteristically, she refused to give in to me. I was forced to shut my trap and calm down for fear my tears would stain my Calvin Klein onsie. What? Just because Mommy dresses like a bum doesn't mean I have to tramp around the house in rags.

Anyways, the X-Men are mutants which mean they have special powers. These books focus on a couple key players, Storm, Beast, Magneto and Professor X.
The latter of whom I felt an immediate kinship...

Storm is lady with cool hair from a country named Africa and can control the weather.
"That would be Storm, Professor said. "She can make it snow or rain...or even create fog."
I'm not sure making fog is as dramatic as Professor X claims it to be. Once Storm can clear a room with only the contents of her diaper, then we'll talk. Daddy says I'm pooping at homo superior level.

Beast is a furry man who can hang upside down and is really smart. I don't know what toy box he escaped from, but he needs to report immediately to my room so we can play. Beast, I will try my hardest not to spit up on your fur.

These books were very informative and taught me a lot about the X-Men. They weren't without a few gripes though.

The art is a little lackluster. Granted it's better that anything I've seen Mommy churn out, but I've seen better. Also, she wouldn't stop complaining about inconsistencies in the books. Her critiques became a little distracting. Quotes include:

"Storm's abomination of a costume is an attempt at her outfit from the 1980's era while Beast's is obviously inspired by Grant Morrison's run, but executed poorly."
"Who on Earth thought it was a good idea to give Iceman an ice gotee?"
"Wolverine isn't nearly hairy enough!!!"

And apparently the fact that Jean Grey has red hair but was presented with brown hair is the biggest tragedy in the whole Marvel Universe. Mommy would not shut up about it! After a couple of hours of Mommy lecturing me about it, I just willed myself unconscious and prayed she didn't notice.

For strictly educational purposes, I would recommend these books. You learn the basics and even though the art wasn't the best, I had fun with it.  I can't wait to learn more about the X-Men.
If you do read these, just make sure you don't have a complete nerd breathing down your neck, pointing out nerd discrepancies. It's quite annoying.
Tegan Pants, OUT!

1 comment: