Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Issue Six

Welcome to another semi-annual Comic Rants from Tegan Pants!
As of April 28, I have officially completed my first year of life and leveled up to new adventures!
I've also been spending a lot of time reflecting on this first year of life. I've made a lot of strides, crawling, walking, jumping down staircases when Mommy isn't looking and still convincing my parents to clean my butt when I evacuate my bowels. I'm like that whole Kanye/Daft Punk song.

But, no matter how powerful I become, it seems like Mommy and Daddy are always trying to hold me back. They won't let me jump off the bed. They won't let me explore the light sockets with my fingers. They won't let me dine on cat food. With every "no" or "you can't have that" the more frustrated I become. Who are they to squash my potential? Don't they understand my power? Don't they know who I am?! Excuse me, is you saying something? Uh uh, you can't tell me nothing!

As the anger brewed inside of me, it seemed almost serendipitous that this weeks comic was the X-Men classic, the Dark Phoenix Saga. Jean Grey, #1 redhead of the Marvel universe, has merged with  cosmic force, the Phoenix. Jean was a pretty powerful telepath and telekinetic before but now she is nearly unstoppable. This is a lady I can relate to. All she wants to do is get a little cray cray and all her teammates want to do is hold her back! In the meantime, the X-Men are trying to recruit 13 year old Kitty Pryde, which of course leads to a fight at an ice cream shop. But not before Wolverine decides to take on some extracurricular reading.

Long story short, Jean goes a little more crazy and starts smooching on bad guys in some seriously dated clothes. I feel that Scott under reacts just a tad.

Eventually, the Phoenix Force takes over Jean, transforming her into the Dark Phoenix.
To paraphrase Mr. West, no one woman should have all that power.

So the Dark Phoenix jets into space, eats a star and inadvertently blows up a whole planet. Which is really a jerk move on her part. Obviously some aliens from space are pretty mad about it and challenge the X-Men to a big ol' fight. I won't spoil the ending, except to say things blow up, people die and the Marvel universe is changed forever!

I know this is old news to most readers, but I was so shook up, I had to call someone who cared.

I would wholeheartedly recommend this comic! It's a classic, if not educational, story that blew my little mind! Mommy sat me down and told me this was a pretty important story, before the days of huge crossovers every other month. When these major events meant something and you couldn't just bring someone back from the dead in the next issue. She shook her hand to the sky a lot and kept ranting, but I tuned her out after a couple minutes. All in all, if you like the X-Men and want to see them running around in bell bottoms, this is a must read.

Till next time, this is Tegan Pants, saying, 
who the kids gonna listen to? Huh? I guess me if it isn't you!

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